First published in: The Wilde Life // Nov 6, 2020 // 3 min read
My kids love gaming. So do I. It makes us happier, calmer and more relaxed. We could all do with more of that in our lives. Especially in these “unprecedented times”. So I’ve decided I’m done with worrying about screen time.
Specifically, I’m done with worrying about what other people think about screen time.
When I was 8 years old I got a Sega Master System for my birthday. I immediately fell in love with a certain little blue hedgehog and was hooked. One of my favourite memories is spending New Year’s Eve playing Tony Hawke Pro Skater, and when I was pregnant with my oldest and living in a brand new country with my husband working shifts, the PS4 was my best friend.
Then kids came along and gaming – like so many other things – became a relic of a past life.
But suddenly the kids are both old enough to play games more complex than Fruit Ninja or Minion Rush. So we bought a Switch (and then another), dusted off the PS4 and gaming is once again part of my life.
I know that screen time is a controversial topic. There are countless articles and opinion pieces proclaiming that we are creating a generation of screen-addicted zombies that will result in the end of civilization. In reality, there is very little evidence that supports a causal link between screen time and the negative effects so frequently reported in the media. In fact, there is increasing evidence pointing to the positive aspects of screen time. I know this because before I let go of worrying about it, I searched obsessively for definitive answers to no avail.
So, if that’s the case, why deprive my kids – and myself – of something that we love? Why feel guilty when someone asks what we did all weekend and I admit that we spent a significant portion of it gaming and the rest of it watching gamers on YouTube or Twitch?
Embracing the fact that we are a family of gamers has been a liberating experience.
This doesn’t mean I have abandoned all limits and expectations. There are legitimate concerns that need to be taken seriously, especially when it comes to online gaming. But instead of laying down the law on what they can and can’t do I have taken a much more pragmatic – and enjoyable – approach: I join in.
Gaming with the kids not only allows me to monitor their online activity, it also gives me the opportunity to bond with them doing something that we all enjoy. We can spend hours talking, laughing and learning together as we game.
The kids gain confidence as they teach me how to play new games and we can work on a whole host of social-emotional skills without them even realising it. Instead of lecturing them on cyber safety we talk about it as we go, making the concept more meaningful and less abstract. We have undoubtedly been a much happier family since I made the decision to relax and enjoy the time we spend together online.
Of course, gaming isn’t all we do. Perhaps it works so well for us because we manage to strike a balance. Spending time outside is also an important part of family life. Exploring national parks, beaches, playgrounds, or the city. Skating, walking, swimming…relaxing. I figure we spend enough time in the real world that I don’t need to feel guilty about the time we spend in the virtual world.
Now maybe I can work on not feeling guilty about not feeling guilty…
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